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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Google Inventions of the Future (5 of 10)

Number 5. Google Bodyparts. It all started with the Google Brainchip, a mix between a backup memory and brain search engine. You’d plug it into your head and it would keep a record of your life, and also allow you to search your brain for things you thought you forgot. Google didn’t stop there and introduced all sorts of body extensions, like the Google Powerarms. You could now ask yourself for directions, and your fingers would point the way. The Google Powerarms would later be replaced by the Google Navilegs, which would completely take over your navigation.

What went right: The extra brain storage meant you could focus on important things in life, such as love, philosophy, or altruism. People in general started to be nicer to each other because with a perfect memory, disputes were easily settled (no more “I remember it differently”). The Google Babelfish add-on made sure understanding foreign languages was a breeze.

What went wrong: In one word, Ads. Of course Google displayed ads, and in their goal to make them as unobtrusive as possible, they only did so during rather inactive brain periods (aka sleep). At night-time, people would dream of the latest products – during day, their subconscious was convinced they’d need to track down and buy them. While highly effective, this scheme quickly came under fire by the American Psychological Association and other groups. The scandal that finally ended Google Bodyparts, however, was when an underpaid programmer hacked the Google Navilegs system and directed his boss towards outside the 9th floor window.

[Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5]

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