Sorrows of a Young Man

Here I am, writing again. It's been a while. Well, you can guess. I've met someone. Someone... something related to my heart. I don't know.

I can't really tell things in a clear manner now. I'm feel really happy and everything, and I'm not good at writing stories.

What a sweet angel. Ah, such a nasty clichee. I don't know how to put it... how to describe her perfection, to tell how much she captured me.

So much simplicity coupled with so much wisdom, so dynamic, yet so calm... god, I'm starting to babble. No abstraction could express anything she really is. Maybe another time... no, I should tell of it now. If not now, I'd probably never. Truth be told, since I began to write, I was already about to shut down the computer. For three times already I was about to shut it down, get my stuff, and leave this room. I promised myself to not run out today, to start my car... yet, I can't stop checking the time. I couldn't help myself, I had to see her.p>

Well here I am back again, putting some dinner in the microwave, and some thoughts on the 'net. What a joy to see her, joined with the family... five siblings, all in all... OK, if I go on like this you won't know much more then before you started to read. Let me try to get the facts straight.

I recently told about this old corporate guy I met, and how he invited me to his place. I almost forgot about it and wouldn't have discovered the treasure he's hiding there.

OK, I was invited to join this hip party-night thing with a lot of youngsters. I met this girl before (let's not get into it), and she asked me to take her friend Jennifer as well. We were driving, and she was like, "God, you should see her... such a sweetie. Take care or else you'll fall in love with her."
I was like, "What?", and she said, "She's taken already, OK? Right now, her boyfriend's away taking care of something 'cause his father died." Yeah, ask me if I care.

It was getting dark on the way. The girl wouldn't stop giggling at the lights flashing by, to tell the truth, she was acting crazy. I was lecturing her about ancient drugs, but the whole thing sort of really got me down.

We parked the car and the girl was getting inside to get her friend. Be back soon. After some minutes I put on a cigarette and walked around the place for a bit. I walked into the court, stretched myself, kicked some trash, and continued up some stairs to the place, and opened the door. Trust me, that was an amazing sight. The whole place was full of family life, little kids running around, and in-between I saw this medium-sized woman in white jeans, handing out candy to the others. The kids were like, "Thaanks!", grabbing for the chocolate, then either bumming around in the corner quietly, or screaming, and running to the couch. The girl in white jeans looked up to me, and said, "Sorry, I'm trying to get the kids to sleep... they really hate the baby-sitter."

I mumbled something meaningless in her direction, flipping away the cigarette to my back-side, and tried hard to not give her a creepy stare. Her movement, her voice, body, everything... she was getting her stuff ready, and the kids were glancing at me from the side. I was smiling at the kids and walked up to one of them, and Jennifer came back into the room. "Say hello to the man, will you?". Well, the little kid was like "Hi", and I couldn't help but answer with a big grin... the chocolate came out back of his mouth.

"Jenny, I think we've met before?"
She kicked her siblings off the couch and into the bedroom.
"Could be. I know half the town, right."
She told the oldest one, about 11 years, to take care of the rest and to call dad in case anything happens. And she told the others to better listen to Sophie when she'd be giving orders. One of the kids said, "The only one who can order us around is you." One of the smaller brothers was putting on the TV, which was OK with Jennifer, and we walked outside.

Back in the car, the girls were chatting about their dress. Jennifer then called back home with her mobile and made sure everything was alright.

The other one was asking Jennifer if she saw the movie she borrowed her. "Nah," she said, "Don't like that movie. You can have it back. The last movie you gave to me wasn't any better, by the way."
I was asking her about the movies, and I was surprised at myself. There was so much beauty in everything she said. Every word of her... I saw the beams coming out of her face, you know, and with every new word, she was beaming brighter, feeling I understood what she said.

"When I was younger I really loved movies... I could watch them the whole weekend, just all alone in my room. Really, all the movies, the good directors, the funny-funny underground art stuff, Luis Bunuel, and everything. Yeah sometimes I feel like doing that again, but it's really hard to find something I like these days... the more they tell stuff that's just like me, like, related to my life, the more I... my life is pretty boring, but I find those things to be the most interesting. Guess my simple life must really make me happy these days."

I tried to cool down my reactions to this, but the way she mentioned Bunuel, just like that and by-the-way. What can I say, I really didn't manage to cool it, and I was talking for what must have been some minutes straight. That's when I realized the other girl was giving me a big knowing smile and made a snide remark. I didn't care.

We started to talk about drugs, music, dancing. Jennifer leaned towards us from behind. "If being into all that is wrong, then I guess I don't know. You got to get it out of your system sometimes."

Couldn't let my eyes get off the rear-view mirror. I must have been staring at her dark eyes, her fresh and pale face... the color of her lip-stick... and I noticed I really stopped listening to what she was talking about... forgetting myself and everything. Yeah, you know me. To make it short, when we arrived at the club, I was getting out of the car like a total dreaming fool, and I didn't notice anything about the music or people around.

There were two guys waiting there (Andy, and the other... N-something, I don't have a clue). One of them approached Jennifer immediately, so I took my girl and we walked inside.

We were dancing like stupid, I was hitting on half a dozen girls in that place, and how I wished someone would have stopped me. Jenny and her man for the night were going at each other, well, dancing, and what a dancer she is. Like she doesn't care. At it with all her soul and body and everything. And I'm pretty sure she was high on something that time.

I sort of danced up to her, and she was telling me about this or that fashionable pill. "It's like a ritual here, you can take one if you want... this other guy's really freaking out taking it so I better give it to you."
We were approaching the chilling room and went to sit down with something cold to drink. She's got such a natural movement, you have to see it. To sit there with her, then get up and dance, sit down again, drink and smoke, and everything, it was really... I don't know, it never felt that easy, all of it. To be close to the sweetest thing I can imagine... to tell the truth, when other guys came around to her, I was like I swear I want to punch your face, even if you're twice my size, I don't care if you kick me around the dance floor and right into hospital. Does that make sense?

We were sitting down again to relax and I handed out my pack of cigs, but it freaked me out whenever she took a cigarette out of it and gave it to someone around.

I swear we were getting closer, just when this drunk friend of her came along, laughing at the two of us...
"Hey Jen, don't forget Michael, huh?!"

"Who's Michael?", I asked Jennifer, "Not that it's any of my business."
Just about then another girl grabbed her to go the someplace, probably the toilet. Getting up, she was giving me this look... "What can I say... I suppose Michael's the handsome man I'm going to marry one day, you know?"
Yeah, I kind of knew that already, right. What I couldn't have known was that it would mean something to me after just some hours. OK, that's when I really freaked out, let's not get into it, there was some pulling and shouting and I probably didn't look too good.

All hell broke lose outside a while later. A bunch of guys destroying a car, or that's what I got out of it. And some fighting, and a bottle hitting the hip retro brick wall in a big nervous splash. Andy, Jennifer, and the bunch of us were now walking up to the cars, and the they stopped the music inside. I don't know, it's just when something bad happens, while you're really happy and all, this whole contrast is tickling the senses, sinking deep down in a second. Which probably explained why some of the girls around couldn't stop laughing. Some of them were crying. Other people were holding hands. And then it started to rain, like heavy rain for ten minutes. Jesus. Most of the girls wanted to take their guys back and into the car, but were failing desperately.

The two guys with us started to light up a joint, and we were heading to a park near-by. We were sitting down the grass near a bench, put down our booze next to us, and Jenny started a drinking game.

"OK, the rules... listen, everyone's saying a word, the next one in the round is starting the next word with the last letter of that word, I mean... well, whoever doesn't get it has to drink a lot. And so on, until everyone's wasted."
The game turned out to quite funny. I guess everything would have been. "Slob"... "bummer"... "retard", and so on. One sip, next sip, one more. It was getting faster, too. I was drinking quite a bit myself. Laughter and screaming of everyone sort of ended the game. Most of our group left and Jennifer and I ended up walking the park.
"Drinking makes you forget... was really afraid seeing the fight back there but this makes you relax. I'm a chicken but I come off really brave."
We stopped under this big tree thing as the rain started again. She was looking left and right, up and down, leaning on the tree, then looking at me, and I saw she swallowed a tear.... "We'll always have Paris, right!"
I got this flashback of the movie, and my emotions really carried me away. I couldn't take it, put my arms around her, and kissed her, the rain running down my hair. And was looking at her eyes again... full of adoration... trust me, you'd be giving your life to have someone look at you like that.